Sunday, May 31, 2009

Too Much Love

I thought you might enjoy a workshop prompt I have written.


Too Much Love

A Whimsybuggs Writing Workshop prompt to write a poem or story with these elements:
  • a clever two year old
  • a sheet of paper
  • pencils
Too Much Love
Rain pelted the window, elongated drops that seemed to stretch and reach trying to keep up with the moving bus. Inside where it was warm, the lights contrasted with the somber gray outdoors like day unto night. The man pulled up his coat collar even though the space was stuffy. With a jittery hand, he pulled back his sleeve to spy his watch. Still an hour to go.
They were counting on him. It was nerve wracking. The bus slowed for a light then started up again. The rain continued its assault on the windows. In his agitated state, the drops sounded like cannonballs hitting the glass. His watch again, two minutes had passed. He wiped sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.
“That man looks scared.”
The voice rang out like a parade of trumpets, blaring and fierce. Now his heart pounded faster than ever as he scanned the crowded bus for the source of the remark. It was a kid. A damned kid, sitting across the aisle, a tablet on his lap, pencil in hand, some scribbles on the paper. His mother sat beside him, an open book on her lap.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “He meant no harm.”
She was pretty, large brown eyes and soft hair that scooped around her face, angelic. How could such innocence exist in this world? He nodded but didn’t speak. It was important to keep a low profile. He checked his watch again. Fifty more minutes. Leaning his head back, he turned to face the window. Out there, somewhere, they were waiting for him to do it. They were waiting to celebrate the victory his act would give them. He pulled his coat closer, checking to make sure it was hidden. It wouldn’t do for anyone to spy what was strapped to his chest. Read more

5 comments:

  1. Excellent story, Jo. You had me wondering. I had thought perhaps the explosives might be on a timer or remotely detonated and once he was clear of the bus he would explode. I like the duality of the title also.

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  2. Thank you, Dan. It's a little darker than I usually do. I couldn't bring myself to go that violent. Aren't I a riot?

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  3. I agree with Dan Jo, I like your title and enjoyed your story! How the man was softened into the lives of the people on the bus. How a child could be the one special trigger to change his mind! Like I told Ozzy I still see a lot of beauty in the world, despite all the bad!

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  4. P.S. I wanted to tell you before, I like your new picture, and your new daily puppy widget too! Did you put your puppy on there too!

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  5. Thanks, Jo! No, I haven't gotten around to putting Hobo, my new puppy, in there. But I hope to soon.

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