Green-glowing pigs

I know these pigs are useful for research, but I shudder to think what their ham/bacon would look like! Kind of pulls the old switcheroo on Green Eggs and Ham.

BBC NEWS | World | Asia-Pacific | Taiwan breeds green-glowing pigs

Ask Yahoo!

Today's Ask Yahoo answers the question, "Who was the 'agony of defeat' guy? What I find amazing is, because he was from behind the iron curtain, he never knew for years how popular he was in the west. Fascinating!

Ask Yahoo!

Fugetaboutit!!!

Would you like to read a really entertaining blog? Stop by "Fugetaboutit" every now or then or better yet, get on his mailing list so you know when a new column is out. I knew I'd like this as soon as I saw the nuns toting guns...
Fugetaboutit!!!

What do you say?...

Does the party have to be over? Okay, the SuperBowl is won. The parade was fabulous! Ben's shaved his beard. There's even been some body-surfing...Now everything is quiet. If you listen really hard, you might hear me way off somewhere...a lone voice: Here we go, Steelers! Here we go! What do you say we sing that for another whole year?         

WE WON!!! 

Why do dogs love to stick their heads out of car windows?

Yahoo with another great answer to one of life's nagging questions:

Why do dogs love to stick their heads out of car windows?

My dog, Peepers, told me the answer is #3. It's way cooler than the other reasons.

Two Books Released in the Wild

at Ross Park Mall and Northway Mall, Pittsburgh

That may seem a strange statement if you are not familiar with BookCrossing.com. I recently registered two proof copies of my latest book, Bridges to Burn. The purpose of BookCrossings is to make the whole world a library with avid readers depositing books in public places to be found, read, and enjoyed. Whoever finds a book is requested to register their find at BookCrossing and then release the book "into the wild" when they are done with it--or perhaps give it to a friend to read and pass on as he/she would like. 

It is an exciting, whimsical process, appealing to the sense of fun and fancy in all of us--to follow the journey of a book from one hand to the next, from one locale to the next. If you've ever heard of WheresGeorge.com, it is the same premise.

So, I released my books at Ross Park Mall yesterday on a bench in front of Children's Palace, and one at Northway Mall on  a chair in the mall area by the restrooms and by the food court. If you find one of my treasures, please read it and pass it on...

BBC ON THIS DAY | 1 | 1952: Test drive for TV detector vans

From "This Day in History":

BBC ON THIS DAY | 1 | 1952: Test drive for TV detector vans

Two thoughts:
1) Does that van remind you of what Al Franken would be likely to drive in his regular SNL skit where he wore the antenna on his head?

2) You have to have a license to watch TV in England???

Singing in the Shower

Ask Yahoo!: "What is it about the shower that makes people want to sing?"

(How did they know about my mildew-stained shower curtain?)

PooGram Calling...

The other day I posted a page that offers "Fecalgrams," and it stoked my curiosity as to how one would write a commercial for such an item. This one is a script for radio:

Sound of a doorbell. A voice:

Delivery Man: Poogram Delivery.

Silence.

DM:  Poogram delivery!

Door opens with a squeak.

Homebody: W-w-what?

DM: Poogram, sir!

HB: A what?

DM: Poogram, sir! From an anonymous donor.

H: Err, what's a Poogram?

DM: Oh, it's your lucky day, sir! A Poogram is a beautifully packaged box of sh...t[beep--CENSOR] delivered right to your door as a gift. If I do say so myself, it is a distinctive gesture.

H: Back up...it's a package of what?

DM:  Sh...t[beep--CENSOR] produced and ready for your enjoyment. We ship poo all over the continental United States and Canada. Ours is the freshest sold anywhere. You can tell by our soft texture and alluring aroma. 

H: Someone sent this to me? Holy sh...errr, I  mean holy smokes! I bet it was my ex-wife, right?

DM: I can't say who it is, sir. Poograms are sent anonymously. But you could send a poogram to your ex-wife. It so easy, just dial 1-888-poo-phew and we’ll get a box of poo off to your ex right away. 

H: Great! What does it cost?

DM: Our Big Sh...t[beep--CENSOR] package is only $50, and our friendly "Quickie Poo" box is $25, a perfect way to let someone know just how you feel about them. And here's some good news--both sizes float.

H: I'll take a quickie poo for my ex wife. She doesn't have to know it's from me, right?

DM: Nope. We never leave sh...t[beep--CENSOR] boxes and tell.  Excellent. But first where would you like me to put this Bigsh...t[beep--CENSOR] package someone sent you. 

HB: Aw, forward that one to her, too. By the way, does it cost extra to set it on fire on her doorstep?

______

Copyright 2005 JO Janoski 

Send a Fecalgram to someone you love 

for Valentine's Day

I use gmail (Google mail), and it picks up words from your letters and matches ads to those words along one side of the gmail window. Today I was talking to a friend about...well, never mind what about...and it showed this particular ad:

The Original Fecalgram

Anonymously send them a box of poop and see their reaction online.

fecalgram.com

It's a real company, folks! I'm not going to tell you about them, though. Go read it for yourself. "Poop flinging has evolved."

In the News...

BBC viewers to pick queen's lunch menu

TV viewers will be deciding on the menu for

Queen Elizabeth's 80th birthday. 

That's a novel idea.

* * *

New Port Authority buses

become poetry in motion

Poetry (well, sort of!) on Pittsburgh buses--

I think it's a great idea. Something to keep 

us occupied in traffic!

Pants Drop in New York

New York Pants Drop

and

Not Everybody Laughs!

In New York, eight pranksters were issued citations for disorderly conduct when they dropped their pants and showed their underwear in a subway station. They are a group called "Improv Everywhere" and it was a stunt intended to make people laugh. More than 160 riders participated in the escapade before the police stopped them. The Improv group claims their intentions are to create scenes of chaos and joy in public places around New York and not to offend.

It seems to me the police in New York have more important matters to deal with than people dropping their pants in the subway...you know, like people dropping in the subway. But then again, many riders may not see the humor in a gang pants-drop. Personally, I would. Do you think that kind of wild prank could ever happen in Pittsburgh?

Vote Here

Copyright 2005 JO Janoski

It's finally finished!

Bridges to Burn

Third Installment in Jo Janoski's Trilogy of Pittsburgh Stories


Available now at lulu.com Print Book or E-Book

Description: Folks in Irma Daltrey's neighborhood are acting more and more suspiciously every day. Her next door neighbor invites a mysterious friend to visit, and across the street a strange trio has moved in, toting cameras. Are they spying on the neighborhood or just engaging in gainful employment? Her life is in chaos beneath a mysterious veil of terrorism. All the while, Irma is left wondering if she is looking for love in all the wrong places. Preview available at lulu.com

YIPPEEEEEE! Here we go, Steelers! 

Poe Gets Roses and Cognac Every Year

For the 57th straight year, a mystery man paid tribute to legendary horror author and poet Edgar Allan Poe by� placing roses and a bottle of cognac on the writers grave in Baltimore, MD., to mark his birthday. How cool is that? When I die, I wish someone would come and place a kolbassy sandwich and a can of Iron on my grave--Burgher style.

 

What happened to William Shatner? 

I noticed William Shatner on the news recently when he sold a kidney stone for charity. Seeing him made me long for the Shatner I used to know. When I was a sweet young thing, I watched him on Star Trek, feeling enthralled by his good looks and command of the role of Captain Kirk. He was suave with the ladies, tough with the bullies--ever ready for a little of the ol' fisticuffs, and in charge, always in charge. Later, when I saw the episodes in color, I loved the way his gold tunic look great with his hair and complexion. That was back when it was his own hair, I add now wistfully.

The Priceline commercials sent shockwaves through me--how could Captain Kirk do commercials? After that, I found him in a variety of buffoon roles, hitting an all time low on Third Rock. Now, even as a lawyer on Boston Legal, his character is still a joke--a buffoon as usual--a higher class, smarter one, but a buffoon, none the less.

I would give anything to see him in a dramatic role, something that pulls from his considerable classical training and leaves deep impressions. Does anyone out there know of a recent Shatner movie or TV part I might enjoy?

Stolen sports car back after 37 years - Jan 18, 2006

Talk about connecting with lost loves!
CNN.com - Stolen sports car back after 37 years - Jan 18, 2006

Doctor's Office...

Yesterday, I spent some time waiting in the doctor's office (orthopedics) with my hubby. I had a workshop assignment to do--a poetic form called a dodoitsu. A dodoitsu is meant to be a Japanese song, written in 26 syllables, lines of 7,7,7, and 5 syllables. Typically, it is about love or something humorous. I ended up writing what I saw and felt at the moment, which isn't so funny, I suppose.

Doctor's Office

Hot, despite white-haired patients

Icicles of silver age 

Inching, uncertain small steps

To see the doctor.

Copyright 2005 JO Janoski 

CNN.com - Study: Ants can teach each other - Jan 11, 2006

CNN.com - Study: Ants can teach each other - Jan 11, 2006

I always thought those little guys were organized! I just knew it! Every spring I engage in a war against the ants. It takes place in my kitchen, and let me tell you, they are worthy adversaries.

This article, though, is making me paranoid. Do you think it's a well-planned conspiracy...the way they go for my sugar?