Coffee is the Best Medicine...July 25, 2005
...The Strange Happenings in a Coffee Shop...
(You may start reading at any point in the story.
It isn't that complicated!)
Alfred? A hair piece? I studied the poor fellow, and sure enough, once I took my eyes off his paisley bow tie, his most remarkable aspect was a shiny dome head, surrounded by curly brown hair, but only on the sides. Yes, our friend Albert would benefit from a hair piece.
Well, not in the way that most men would, where they slip it on and immediately become younger, more handsome versions of themselves. No, perhaps the best Alfred could hope for would be that it offers a handy distraction from his bow tie. Unfortunately, it would not detract from his hook nose or skinny linear mouth. I sighed. It seemed hopeless.
"Alfred, hon! Why don't you try a change of wardrobe first. You know, a different style?" I studied his baggy pants and shoddy tan blazer with a discerning eye.
"You don't like my style?" he asked, fingering his bow tie, which I noted, was purple paisley. "Is it the color of my tie, because I have others!"
With a flourish, he opened his blazer wide to reveal an array of bow ties clipped inside. Every print you could imagine--polka dots, zigzags, stripes, flowers, kites --I never saw such a collection in a variety of colors so gaudy I feared they would make my eyes sore. Red, blue, purple, orange...Oh, I felt sick. "Are they all yours?" I asked. Honestly, I didn't know what else to say.
"Yes, I like to change during the day. I like to wear the red pepper one when I have chili for lunch, and I switch to the green apple for dessert if it's pie; but on rainy days I wear the blue polka dots--they cheer me up. In the winter, I'm fond of heavier colors, like this dark gray....
"Shut up, Alfred!" I interrupted him. "Give me those ties! It's for your own good!"
"Give me those ties! You have an unhealthy affection for them."
To be Continued
Copyright 2005 JO Janoski